There is a fairly widespread idea in public speaking courses that the fear of speaking in public may be even greater than the fear of death. The idea stems from a 1973 American survey in which public speaking was the most frequently mentioned fear, although its intensity was not measured. A later study, published in 2012 and conducted among students, found that when participants were asked to choose their greatest fear, death came ahead of public speaking. Even second place sounds frightening!Personally, I’m inclined to believe Seinfeld, who said that if the fear of public speaking is greater than the fear of death, then at a funeral, the average person would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy. : – )And yet, I believe that for acting students in their early years of training, the fear of exposure and the desire to “do well” are precisely the noise, the interference, that gets in the way of organic functioning.Eleven years after completing my four-year acting degree, I returned to the same institution for a master’s in theatre pedagogy, followed by a doctorate. I remember revisiting Viola Spolin’s “Mirror” exercise. I approached it without trying to do well, without trying to “get it right,” simply to explore it and understand it through doing.After a couple of minutes, I caught myself seeing my partner’s face as my own. I had probably done this exercise several hundred times, both during my training and in the eleven years I had spent working as a professional actor afterwards. But only then did the “Mirror” work for me beyond the theatrical framework: it was a direct experience that brought down the walls of the acting context. A total, deeply personal experience.I believe an important factor in this experience was that I had no expectations, either of myself or of the exercise.I was both participant and observer: I was experiencing the exercise as an actor, with the curiosity of a teacher trying to understand what was happening, without judging how well the work was being done.It takes courage, I think, to function beyond the framework of “me in an acting exercise” and arrive at “me in the given situation, as in life, not as in a good acting exercise.” I did not have that courage as a student, so I allow myself to have it now, twenty-five years after graduating. I allow myself to talk about this experience because I think it is important for you, as a student, to understand exactly what we should be looking for.And it is not easy at all, that is the truth, to stand in front of your peers and teachers and have the courage to be you — the person, not you — the acting student. Speaking in public is difficult; acting in front of others can be even harder, and harder still is behaving in front of others as though you were alone at home or, more delicately, at home with your partner, perhaps having a terrible argument.I believe we can train our ability to retain, while working, the clarity we have when watching others. This does not mean monitoring our every gesture, but remaining attentive to what is happening, without worrying about “doing well.”I have seen the following situation in students and experienced it myself: when I watched my fellow students work, I could clearly see what was working and what was not, what action was needed, and whether the person was in the situation or not. When I was the one working, I often lost that clarity. I put pressure on myself; I wanted to “get it right.”It doesn’t have to turn out well. You don’t even have to get it right. What matters is that you do not turn from that whole person on the sidelines into the acting student trying to do a good exercise.Perhaps you do not even need to get rid of your fear before you can work. You need to learn to accept it and understand what you have to do, even when you are afraid.Theatre is used as a tool for personal development. The most important thought in this post, a thought that occurs to me right now, is this:Before theatre can be a tool for personal development, it must first be a tool for personal acceptance. ; – )Reference for the studies mentioned: Karen Kangas Dwyer and Marlina M. Davidson (2012), “Is Public Speaking Really More Feared Than Death?”, Communication Research Reports, 29(2), pp. 99–107. The article also re-examines the 1973 R. H. Bruskin Associates survey. DOI: “10.1080/08824096.2012.667772” (https://doi.org/10.1080/08824096.2012.667772).